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Looking for Lucy
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On Christmas Eve, I decided to head down early with wrapped gifts in the car, but spend time looking for Lucy before having dinner with my brother's family that afternoon. Since my treks through the wilderness often lead to very dirty clothes, I decided I would put on a pair of old jeans for the search, but then change to clean clothes when I got to my brother's home.
Unfortunately, I had made many trips to search for Lucy but had neglected to wash the mounding pile of laundry. I was out of clean blue jeans! Looking through the dirty clothes, I found a pair of jeans that didn't have too much mud on them, so I decided to put these on instead of better clothes, and headed down Interstate 95 to Fredericksburg.
The day was uneventful. No sightings, no tracks, no Lucy. The police in the area had stopped me before, assuming I was some criminal casing neighborhoods. By now they knew the story, recognizng my slow moving car as it traveled about neighborhoods where Lucy had been sighted previously. Finally, I decided to call it a day, but then at the last minute chose to stop at the area supermarket to pick up some wine to have with dinner. It is appropriate to bring something when you are invited to dinner. So I parked my car, grabbed a cart, rushed into the local supermarket, and headed off to the wine department.
While strolling down one of the aisles, I suddenly felt a stange sensation... something was sliding down my pants leg! When I looked down, I noticed some dirty underwear hanging out of my pants beside my shoe. Apparently, when I had grabbed the jeans from the laundry pile I had not checked them carefully. I had put them on with some dirty underpants still inside somewhere and they had chosen this opportune time to make their escape!
I was in a dilemma. Should I reach down, grab the underpants, stuffing them into my pocket? I thought that could be embarrassing if I were caught on a security camera. The store owners might detain me, accusing me of shoplifting! Who would steal underpants, though? Instead, I could continue to walk through the store with dirty underpants clinging to my shoe, hoping no one would notice. Not likely! I chose the third alternative... I shook my leg and kicked them free, leaving them in the aisle. I pretended not to notice and walked on as though nothing had happened.
I can only wonder what others must have thought as they came down that
aisle later. What could be happening in a grocery store on Christmas Eve
that would cause people to lose their underwear? Perhaps Santa or
Christmas elves had left the employees a gift!
Well, I purchased my wine and casually left the store. It was time
for dinner, family, and friends. All but one member of the family
would be there, everyone but Lucy.
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